Transitioning Seasons of Motherhood

Motherhood is so many things, so many different things to so many people. No one tells you that within the season of motherhood are other seasons. For the longest time I was either trying to get pregnant, was pregnant, and was either breastfeeding and or pumping. That is how I spent the last 6 years of my life. Some where along the way it became who I am.

Even though I knew that our daughter was my last child, for, honestly, unknown reasons, I found myself not prepared for all of my “last” firsts. The last first time, I would feel life inside of me, hear her first cry and witness her first crawl, her first sit up with out help, and the last first steps. Then there are all of the last “lasts” that followed. The biggest one for me was the last time I would latch with her. The last time I would hook myself up to my pump to provide her nourishment from my body. The last last drops of my milk.

My heart, mind, body, and soul were just not ready and honestly still not ready to watch my last child grow up. Its all happening so fast, I feel like I blinked and she is 2 years old. Somehow her older brothers are 4 and 15 years old. Where does the time go… literally where does it go? I want to know so I can bring it back.

The weaning process in the past for me was vastly different than my last. This time around I experienced moments of sadness almost like grief. I knew that my last pump was just around the corner and yet 6 months later, I have this urge to pump. I mean it’s who I am or was. Being “that” for my children, providing them with nutrients from my body became what made me important to my family. Now that I am no longer their main source of nutrition in that way, I some how feel less important. The rational side of me knows I am more than just a breastfeeding mom. That my importance is not tied to my ability to make milk. I am mom and a good one outside of that quality. My worth to my family is not measured by how many ounces of liquid gold I produce.

Yet, even though I know all of this to be true. I am still struggling to find my footing in this new season of motherhood. Who am I if I am no longer in my birthing season of life? That’s a real question, a question I am taking the time to find the answer to. I am giving myself grace as I explore what motherhood looks like now. I am allowing myself to grieve what once was and who I once was. Who I became and work towards who I want to be. I am their mother and will forever be their nurturer. All in all I find myself transitioning between the seasons of motherhood

I am so grateful for my breastfeeding journey. It was the toughest labor of love, but I would never give it up. As far as this new season of motherhood, I’m taking it one day at a time. I don’t know what it will bring and that’s ok, I have a lifetime of motherhood seasons to figure it out.

I hope this leaves you knowing that you are not alone and I look forward to sharing other “Seasons of Motherhood” content with y’all. Subscribe to my newsletter and follow me on social media to see when new blogs drop. As always until next time take care

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