Making Friends the Military Spouse Way

First thing first, I just want to say hey y’all the topic of making friends is such a small but big thing in life. For some having friends or circle of people you consider yourself close with is important period for others having friends is that’s a part of life they feel they don’t need. How do you all feel about making friends as a military spouse?

 Looking back at time spent at our past duty stations, I cannot remember ever arriving and having a tribe already established. I believe that’s the biggest “so-called issue” with the continued moving that can accompany this lifestyle. As adults putting ourselves out there can be a whole thing. We know as kids it was easy in a sense. Moving meant the same, that we were leaving friends and having to go to a new place and start over.

But there was one big difference, and that big difference is as adults we cannot dominate on the playground or make new friends across the table at lunch. We actually have to put ourselves out there. Unlike the military member, who transfers and is able to find ample opportunity to form friendships within their shop or their office. The spouse has to get creative, has to cross all their fingers, put all the good vibes out into the atmosphere and pray for a connection or spark to grow into something special.

I hope the following friendship opportunities assist you in finding your person or people and or tribe.

• Facebook groups : “Local” military spouse Facebook pages. For example, “military spouses of Norfolk naval station”; “military spouses of San Diego”; “Yokosuka military spouses”; “military wives/spouses of JBLM” and last but not least “military spouse social club” (I have high hopes for that last one ?)

• Local MWR or USO events: The mentioned organizations hold multiple events a month. You can follow their Facebook pages, sign up for the newsletters/ emails that send details on all upcoming local events. Events like yoga for the spouse or family, food markets, holiday festivals and spouse meet and greets.

• Attending spouse exclusive events: Milspouse Fest; Housing community spouse clubs; *MWR or USO events*

• Command events: Family Readiness Group (FRG); Ombudsman: These functions are where you meet other spouses in the command. Y’all will be going through all the “trainings, transitions, and times away” together.

• Employment: Finding work outside of the home gives one access to other adults. Whether it be volunteering or finding a job. This gives you common ground even if it’s just “hey we both work here”. Work friends make the hard days bearable. And you never know, work friends could become brunch friends and that’s a win win my friends.

• Mommy Friends: Having a tribe of friends who “get” what you are going through as a mom on the basic level can be life changing. And having that “being moms” in common allows for so many opportunities for joint outings. Tackling grocery shopping, running errands, going for a walk “for exercise” or just taking the kids to the park and letting them run themselves tired. I redirect you moms back to Facebook. I have seen so many different types of mom groups. Just in my area there is “Mamas and Mimosa”, “Hike it Baby San Diego” and “San Diego with Kids” just to name a few. Type in things that interest you and add mom or kids or toddler or baby in front or behind. Also, SPORTS!!! Getting the little ones signed up gives them friends and you get mommy friends lol. Sports usually leads to birthday party invites and we all know birthday parties = kids running around enjoying themselves while parents get the “coveted” adult interaction lol.

PRO-TIP *** BE OPEN TO FINDING CONNECTIONS WITH FUTURE FRIENDS***

*Story time*

~I met one of the most amazing friends when I hired her to do my move out cleaning. I didn’t hire her thinking “man I really hope she is nice, and we become friends”. But I was fortunate that she was being polite and struck up a conversation. Somehow three years and one PCS later; she is still one of my absolute favorite people. I read the book that she got for my daughter at my baby shower at least once a week at bedtime.~

There are so many stories like that. I met one friend at a spouse club bingo, another at line dancing ladies’ night. Another at a birthday party advertised in a Facebook group. The party just happened to be on the street I live on, just a few doors down. And another at a paint and sip hosted by MWR. All of these involved me putting myself out there and being open to the possibilities.

I say all that to say take a chance put yourself out there and remember you’re a catch my friend. Anyone would be lucky to call you a friend. Hope you all found this helpful and will take my advice to heart leave me a comment, consider subscribing, and take care until next time.

---